I hear voices.  I’m not a crazy person (well maybe, according to my husband), but I hear voices constantly.  One (Flotsam) sounds like my third-grade teacher who never liked my handwriting.  Another (Jetsam) is the voice of an awful boss who could never make up his mind and rarely gave good guidance.  The loudest (Blah-blah-blah) resembles my Mom, prompting, pushing, and demanding more (tell me a grown woman who Mom doesn’t live in her head?).  The worst part is that none of these voices are ever happy.  None are ever satisfied.  All constantly demand more.

To say I am a type a personality is an understatement.  I think I actually scare Type-A people.  This little quirk has served me well in life, but usually means I demand too much of myself.  When this happens you can usually bet Flotsam, Jetsam, and Blah-blah-blah are egging me on.

Nowhere is this worse than running.  There my three amigos nag me about how well I use to run.  They harass me over each plodding step reminding me of the glorious times of my youth. “An 800m in 4:27? You should be embarrassed,” yawns Flotsam. “9:30 for 1 mile and you’re breathing hard,” gasp Blah-blah-blah. Then Jetsam brings up the final act smirking, “You ONLY ran 3 miles today?”

I’ve tried silencing them on my own with all forms of known tricks. Blasting raging tunes, humming along to musicals dancing in my head to a hip-hop beat. Despite the loud music the three just seem to raise their volume even more.

One of the most enjoyable aspects of running with Coach Paul is that the voices fall silent.  The negativity, the dribble, the doubts, the self-defeat goes away and is replaced by chipper encouragement.  When trudging up the Acosta Bridge for the millionth time, instead of “you’re so slow,” or “you should be embarrassed at how you look right now,” I hear “Good job!”  (Writers note: this sometimes inspires thoughts of pushing certain people over since they are the reason I’m running the bridge in the 1^st place)

So is that all running with Coach Paul is about?  Happy, hypnotic, positive affirmation?  Hardly. It is about learning to remove the doubts and believe in you.  Sure you’re going to have bad days, but on those days Paul is there to (literally) push you through.  As he is pushing he is reminding you that life and running are hard, but you are not only going to get through it…you are going to excel.